Waiting for the One

A lot of people come to me for romance readings. That's great, everyone wants love. The question I most often get is How will I know that they're the one? and the short answer is:

You won't.

Ideally, the one would come with a giant neon sign above their head and some hefty cash in their pocket. Or is that just me? No? But as we go through life what we need from our partners tends to change. The person I was in my younger years needed something utterly different than what I look for in a partner now. Because we simply won't know the one when they walk through the door, it is important to realize that this is okay, it makes us human.

What also makes us human is that before, during, and after that relationship, we are constantly undergoing growth. Some more than others, and this does not cease when we enter into a serious relationship. If anything, we become more aware of the work we are doing and the work that we will need to tackle in the future. We can date our partner in crime, our best friend, but that doesn't mean it's always a fairy tale. Sometimes it's a little Brothers Grimm.

So, enter the cards. One of the best spreads I have ever come up with for THE ONE is one that encourages your active participation in your own life. None of this waiting around for love, romantic bunk, that doesn't get you anywhere. We want something that gives us homework, something to chew on!

I call it:

The While I'm Waiting Spread

Positions are as follows:

1. Me Right Now: Who are you right now? This could be any card or if you're interested, you can sort out the court cards beforehand and use them for cards 1 and 3, before placing the rest back into the main deck.

2. My Personal Evolution: This card is going to be the one that depicts the crux of your current personal growth. Who are you becoming, in other words.

3. The One: This is going to be another court and this will typically depict someone that will both balance AND challenge you in your growth. I'm no saint, but my partner has for sure challenged me at times.

4. Their Journey: This card is going to tell us where they are on their own journey. Based on this card's reputation as either a yes or no card, it will also tell us if we are ready to meet them yet, or if you already know them, if you're both ready to begin something together.

5. What I Need to Feed: While you're waiting it is important, nay, imperative, that you do not neglect yourself on your personal growth path. It won't be your partner's job to save you from yourself. So, this card will help show us what it is that we can do to further our growth, foster positive habits-mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically, and allow us to see by comparison what things won't help us feed those good qualities.

6. What Growth Looks Like for Me: Are you sometimes convinced that rather than forward you're doing a major back slide into stagnation and crumminess? This card clarifies for you what your current growth looks like, what to watch for as signposts that yes, you are moving forward. Sometimes that glacial pace is still forward, we just don't always see it. It will also tell you, just based on what the card is, how that card responds best to external pushes.

7. It's All Connected: This final card shows us how our growth, past; present; and future, as well as our kindred's growth, all connect together. We can infer and intuit based on this card what that growth will look like for us as a couple, and as individuals in a relationship over time. If you feel less comfortable with the inferring/intuitive aspect on one card alone, draw a clarifying card and read both cards as one cohesive picture. 


What you take away from this spread is up to you, but what it can tell you is how important growth is, the reality of our human condition, and how we can best benefit ourselves by being honest in our needs with the self and with others around us. After all, while you're waiting you may as well get to know the one person you're going to be spending the most time with-you!